Family Doesn’t Always Mean Blood

I might ruffle some feathers with this one, but after sharing my Being A Child of Divorce blog, I don’t think anything can phase me. I have strong feelings that family doesn’t always mean blood. There are a lot of people who could probably argue with me on this, so I hope I can make my point crystal clear because I will not be elaborating further. With that said, let’s dive in.

When my dad and I moved in with my chosen mom and my brothers, it was a whole new life for me. Blended families are always a tough adjustment for everyone involved. I have been looking back at my past more recently since I am possibly stepping into the role of step-mom in the coming years. I remember lots of fighting and bickering between my brothers and me, which sounds like a perfectly normal sibling relationship to me. My mom and I have had our ups and downs, with her now being one of my best friends, just like any mother-daughter relationship. What I’m trying to say is what was a typical step-family turned into this amazingly normal in the best way blended family. My brothers are my brothers and my mom is my mom. Obviously, I know I can’t go in with that mindset with my boyfriend’s kids, but I hope I can navigate the waters better based on how I grew up. 

I have always viewed my closest friends as a part of my family. Now that they all have kids, those children are my nieces and nephews and I have claimed my rightful spot as Auntie Magen. I know some people might not agree with viewing friends as family, but it has always felt right. Growing up, I would call my best friends’ moms my second mom. I have known these women anywhere from six to 16 years. I have seen them grow up and become mothers. I’m so glad I have had these best friends, who are more like sisters, in my life and who I consider my family. 

Now, probably my more controversial opinion: blood doesn’t always mean family. It’s crazy, right? A person that you share this biological connection with and they are someone that you have no interest in knowing or being in your life. Life is funny like that I suppose. Even after they have been out of your life for years, any mention of them or interaction can make you feel this slight sense of guilt. It’s a difficult choice to cut out blood, and even harder to stick to that decision, but at the end of the day, it’s almost always the right one. 

Well, I have now said my peace on the subject. We get a choice of who we surround ourselves with in this life, whether that means letting go of people that will come up in your 23 and me report or inaugurating close friends into your family circle. I love my family and friends who have become family equally. Because at the end of the day, blood doesn’t always mean family and family doesn’t always mean blood.